Too funny not to post...

I got this from my mom but since she probably would consider it too inappropriate of her to post something like this... ill go ahead and do the honors...

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

- Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
- Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, covering up any exposed areas if you see husband along the way.
- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
- Get in the shower. Use face cloth, loofah and pumice stone.
- Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
- Wash hair again. Condition with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. - Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes. - Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - Rinse conditioner from hair.
- Shave armpits and legs.
- Turn off shower.
- Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower; spray mold spots with Tilex. - Get out of shower; dry with towel the size of a small country; wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head; if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
- Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
- Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
- Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
- Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
- Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
- Rinse off and get out of shower.
- Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
- Admire wiener size in mirror again.
- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
- If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
- Throw wet towel on bed.

Spring break continued...

Spring Break

I made it home for the week to get out of the frigid pootah weather and what better way to spend a spring break then with the fam damily and the miss. Steph pointed out that i have yet to mention or blog about her yet, so this one is for her. We had a fun week together... she took me to a David Archuleta concert with her family and i was a good sport. I actually really enjoyed it, he was a great performer and his voice was unreal, except my ears were ringing pretty viciously afterwards. Im not sure if it was because of the speakers or the 12 years old girls screaming the whole time. We also went to disneyland and got our calories in, people watching, and of course had fat smiles on our faces the whole day. You just cant help it being at the happiest place on earth. Which by the way really is the happiest place on earth. Now that im older i learned to appreciate the customer service, the music, the smell, the details on each and every ride and store, and all the little stuff that goes into making that place what it is. Then we topped it off at the beach, which was freezing but we made the best of it anyways. I forgot my winter wetsuit and used my summer one and lasted for about 20 minutes before suffering from frostbite. I am awfully tempted to move home this summer after this week. I sometimes forget how great california is..

Sand Duneage

I Met the boys at Dumont on my way home from Utah for some good fun at the dunes before it gets too hot out there in the dessert. They just went to Glamis the weekend before and made another trip the next weekend just for me. Im kinda a big deal... Here are some cool pics my uncle Matt got, and more to come...

Balls out

Had some fun at the mtn today. I havent been up in quite some time, and today was the perfect day to go. Clear skys, no crowds, no injurys, good snow and some good company. Despite some idiot who had a bud light in his hand when he was getting on the lift drinking it right in front of the lift operator who chose to do absolutely nothing, everything was great. ( and yes i pulled a kirk baker and said something to the guy and the girl that let him get on the lift with it AND the guy up top when i got off). Turns out he was an employ their!! hopefully he gets the boot...serves him right. Anyways i went up with long long LONG time friend Richard Wirthlin who never fails to amaze with his willingness to do just about anything. I told him i was going to take it easy on the mtn today because it had been a while and also because I am going to the sand dunes tomm. and i of course didnt want to be injured for that! ...Well sure enough he somehow talked me into doing the biggest jump there. Needless to say, im glad i did it and it was worth the healthy little adrenaline rush that came along with it.

Still Life

So i took up a painting class this semester to keep me somewhat sane with the 3 science and biology classes im also trying to endure. I havent really painted since i think i was in kindergarden or so.. with watercolors. To be quiet honest i wasnt even really looking to take a painting class but having registered just a couple days before the semester actually started, it was one of the few 3 credit classes still open...so i said why not? This is my second painting so far. It is a still life of some pots, vases, flowers, etc that our teacher set up in class. Definitley wouldnt be my first painting of choice... but i gave it my best shot anyways. If any of you artsy fartsys out there got any advice let me know! I will be more than humbled for some good constructive criticism :)

my painting..


and this is the setup..